HI. I'm currently up late
finishing up some entries in my creative writing for school while trying
to juggle my feelings of extreme happiness and excitement (writing this
post, gathering up all of my emotions and ideas and thoughts to put
here) while dealing with some sadness: this post, as well as this Rookie diary that I wrote for the week.
There's just this big blob of adolescence (which I'll touch on more a
bit later) and death and nostalgia surrounding me, and I'm not sure of
how to escape it.
A moodboard that I made. I feel like a lot of spring moodboards are full of brightness and Technicolor (even though winter to spring really is like running from a tornado and into a land full of Munchkins) and other things. I think that's how I felt before in winter, but now I feel more forest inspired than say, a meadow or a pool like before (while those both play roles in my overall perspective, they aren't the central themes). Ghost World, Freaks and Geeks, and The Virgin Suicides are a big part of that (suburbia and the '70s, because you have to admit, F&G is stuck in the era of the shag rug (Exhibit A: Lindsey & Sam's house, which is green & brown). There is also ADOLESCENCE as a whole, because it obviously isn't absolutely amazing and puppies and sunshine, although puppies would make sense because they poop a lot. Adolescence poops a lot, which is something that I think we can all agree on.
CDG ad that I edited/annotated
Two pages from one of my journals. The
left page stemmed from the bottom section that I started writing on the right
("Diaries"). (ALSO-My normal handwriting doesn't look like this. I
just felt the need to clarify this.) I started thinking about The Virgin
Suicides, but really thinking about it-every time I read it, I feel
connected to it more, in a way. The first time I read it, I don't think I really
saw it for what it was; like with what many people do with Lolita, I
romanticized a tale of obsession, one that made the subject(s) of desire out to
be otherworldly creatures. Upon reading it again, I realized that it was really
about a group of men who refuse to let go of an obsession with the group of
girls across the street. This time around, I really got involved in the
adolescence aspect of it, which is something I've been doing lately whenever I
read literature, watch a television show or a movie, listen to a song, etc.
J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye is the epitome of teenage
rebellion, but not really rebelling in the way that we are used to, like steal
our parents' liquor and getting drunk in the basement, or hating everyone and
everything just for the hell of it. Holden Caulfield, the main character,
rebels because he (a) dislikes many people based on the fact that he views them
as "goddamn phonies" and (b) holds onto youth in a way that isn't
sexualized like Humbert Humbert's, but because it's so full of innocence and
the mind in it's supposedly purest form, before humans make the transition into
becoming possible phonies. My spring vibes (sort of based on my playlist for
the season, "Age of Consent") are centered around this idea of what adolescence
is, and how there are so many different perspectives on it. In an interview Rookie conducted with Sky Ferreira, she spoke about how so many pop stars
are sexualized in a Lolita-esque, schoolgirl way, even though adolescence is
this really difficult time full of zits and awkwardness, which is so right;
people like to have this fantasy of what growing up is, when really, it is just
this ideal that hardly compares to the real thing.
I'm going to post the rest of this later, because I have so much to say (including a playlist focused around this theme, more moodboards, more talking), but my computer hates me.
Yours truly,
Britney
I'm going to post the rest of this later, because I have so much to say (including a playlist focused around this theme, more moodboards, more talking), but my computer hates me.
Yours truly,
Britney
